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I didn't choose the thick life, the thick life chose me

I don't give a rats a**

I just wanna eat hot dogs & tell the umpire he's blind (12oz glass)

I know a great joke about hipaa but I cant tell you

I pretend coffee helps but I'm still a b*tch

I really wanna cry

I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY CAT

I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY DOG

i'm going to crush preschool

I'm not always a train wreck

i'm not just an aunt I'm also a b*tch

i'm ready to crush kindergarten

I'm the psychotic dispatcher

I'm your homegirl

Iced coffee (beadable pen)

If my mouth doesn't say it my face definitely will

If you ain't crocin' you ain't rockin' (20oz glass)

ILY hand (car freshie)

In April we wear blue

In my dispatch era

In my lucky realtor era

In my rad tech era

In my string cheese mama era